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Special EFT Concerns

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Will EFT take away normal grief? Page 2

"Even though there are some things that I wish had been very different between us, I choose to find this a time of healing for both of us."

Or, (for the LAST part of the sentence): "? I choose to use this time of unusual closeness and intensity to heal some of our old problems in a surprising way."

If the issue is some fears and doubts and uncertainties your husband may have about how it will feel to be fatherless in this world ? this can be a problem at any age because on some level we are all children at heart ? then your husband might try one of these  set-up phrases:

"Even though I'm shocked by the thought that I will be without my father for the rest of my life, I choose to be more aware than ever of all the good things he gave to me, knowingly or unknowingly. ?

Or, "? I choose to know that the best of him will live on in us, and be stronger because of this fact."

Or, "I choose to cherish the happy memories of him which will give me much comfort."

I have found that if somebody uses EFT to prepare for an impending death of a loved one, or for grieving after that person has died, that its use can often transform the personal pain (and any resentment at the very fact of the loss) into a new feeling about the person who has gone.  Those who have used EFT to handle this sort of situation have found that the surviving person's memories of the departed person now are much more selective ?more and more they tend to remember the good times and wonderful things about the person who has passed away.  This is, after all, the supreme way to honor anyone.  After using EFT, what hasn't been perfect in the relationship is washed away, and what it is memorable, the true gems of the relationship are retained.

I hope your husband will use EFT creatively at this time so that the experience of his father's illness and death becomes one of growth on a fulfilling level for all concerned.  This is quite the opposite of numbing oneself, or hardening oneself to a blow.  If he can use EFT in this manner, it will not only benefit himself and the rest of the family, but indirectly in some manner his new positive attitude may also be conveyed to his father, even if his father is barely conscious.   This can occur through your husband's tone of voice, gestures, and words and above all by the change in his energy field.  In this way, by using EFT to resolve these issues within himself, your husband will be assisting his father to move on peacefully, with a sense of completion ? a true gift.

I hope these thoughts help you and your husband to move gracefully through this transition, and that they may also help those readers who may be facing similar crises, or helping others to face them.

EFT Master, Dr. Patricia Carrington

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