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Guest EFT Articles ► Teaching Kids to Tap
Teaching Kids to Tap
by Ann Adams
Gary Craig's
Introduction:
Ann Adams
is the Campus Director at a residential care facility for Severely
Emotionally Disturbed children and, as such, has a challenging audience
within which to deliver EFT. We can all learn from the story she provides below--even
if we are applying EFT to adults. There are many lessons in both rapport and
the "art of delivery" in this message. Please study it carefully.
__________________________________________
About 4 o'clock, I walked onto the admissions unit. The kids were
lining up to go swimming. The newest child, "Kinney," asked who I
was. Then, "What does she do?" [The new kids always want to learn
the role of each staff member. They quickly learn and understand the chain of
command.] I told him that one of the things I did was to teach kids how they
can calm down quickly when they don't want to be upset.
Kinney is tall for 13. He has light brown hair and a pair of sad
eyes that competed for the saddest I've ever seen. He expressed immediate
interest: "Can you teach me?"
"Sure."
"Harvey," a slender, African American nine year old in
perpetual motion, was in line behind him: I want to know too.
"OK."
"Ryan," 11, one of those absolutely adorable blond
headed, blue-eyed children with impeccable manners - very RARE for our agency
- spoke next. "Ma'm, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to learn about that
too." "No problem," I said, "I'll teach all three of you
after supper."
When I returned to the unit the three boys immediately came up to
me. "Teach me now," said Ryan. We sat down on the couches and I
told them that what we were going to learn was something that calmed people
down very quickly most of the time--that it sometimes worked better when you
worked with someone else but that it was something they could use for themselves,
by themselves.
I said this really makes use of things we already do to make
ourselves feel better but using this process we can focus what we do and make
it work much better. Showing them as I went, I then asked if they had done
any of the following: Palm to head, hand to chest, head in hands, rubbing
under eye and under nose, wringing hands, chewing on fingers, rubbing back of
hand. They all nodded. Harvey, Mr. Perpetual Motion, started showing everyone
how he bites his nails!
GC COMMENT: This is a superb verbal bridge to help these kids make sense
of these procedures.
ANN CONTINUES: I told them this is a way to use all those
motions together while thinking about what they were upset about. And that
most of the time it made the upset feelings better and lots of times the bad
feelings were just gone. I had their attention - well, except Harvey - who
had changed seats already five times. I decided to try the Cook's Hook Up
exercise to see if it would quiet him. He could not even hold his hands together
long enough to follow the instructions. He wandered off - ah well, another
day.
I asked Ryan and Kinney if anything had happened to upset them
today. Neither could think of anything. This is often the case when I teach
it to kids 'cold'. My primary goal is to familiarize them with the process.
Many times, the next interaction I have with them is: "Hey Miss Ann,
will you do the tapping stuff with me. I'm mad/upset/sad."
Harvey then wanders back and grabs at Ryan's arm. Ryan shoves him away
angrily saying to me: "Yeah, I got a problem; peers that provoke me. I
get frustrated." [We teach a whole new lexicon to young children: peers
provoke, boundaries, negativity, levels, color drops, etc.]
Kinney also says he has a problem. "You don't have to tell
me, but do you want to share it?" I said. Kinney then tells me a very
sad story of a mom in jail for drugs and how worried he is about her and that
she also has ulcer problems and that he misses her. [There are many, many
such sad stories in our residential facility. Wish I could teach all the moms
and dads how to tap!]
I explained how problems were like puzzles and that puzzles have
a lot of pieces. That the first step was to think about your problem and then
pick what piece of it you want to work on. Then, when that piece of the
problem was fixed you would pick another piece until all the bad feelings
were gone.
GC COMMENT: An excellent metaphor!! Creative approaches like this often
spell the difference between cooperative and uncooperative children/clients.
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