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Obstacles in the EFT Process
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► Why do People Resist EFT Part 2
Why do People Resist EFT Part 2
By Dr. Patricia Carrington
In the first article of this two-part series I discussed the
shutting down of what I call the “monitor” (that part of our minds that
stands apart from us and evaluates incoming information, and then selects an
appropriate response from the many possible ones we have stored in our memory
banks). The closing down of the monitor in distressing situations can make us
forget to use EFT even though we may be an avid EFT user at all other times.
Today, I’m going to suggest another reason why EFT users may
resist using EFT. It is that we are hard-wired to resist calming down if we
think we are in danger. At such times, we feel that our survival depends on
mobilizing our emergency responses. For example, if you were to discover that
your house was burning down your survival tactic would be to create fear.
This is because fear motivates us to escape and our survival instinct will
not allow us to get rid of the fear unless we convert that fear into
something we consider equally self-protective.
The result of this is that people often don't want to use EFT
under extremely stressful circumstances because at that particular moment
they are convinced that their intense feelings -- -- whether they are anger,
fear or some other emotion -- are NECESSARY in order to protect themselves!
An example of this might be someone who is extremely angry. Many
times I have seen a person become threatened if it is suggested to them that
they use some tactic to calm down their angry feelings. All that person wants
to do at that moment is to rid themselves of what they perceive as an enemy.
One of the EFT statements that can be effective for a person
experiencing intense anger or another strong emotion that they don’t want to
let go of is:
"Even though I'd like to (punch, smash, kill, etc.),
(that person), I choose to handle him/her in the best possible way."
Often, this can work because no matter how enraged we may be, few
of us wouldn't want to handle the situation that enrages them in the
"best possible way" for this would obviously increase our safety.
This statement can be useful because it is not likely to be construed as an
effort to weaken us by robbing us of our righteous (protective) anger, but
instead will be seen as strengthening us. The interesting thing is that as we
tap along this may begin to take the edge off our anger so that it actually
lessens!
Among other EFT statements that can be useful in motivating us to
use EFT when experiencing intense emotions are:
1. "Even though I'm very upset (angry, etc.), I choose to
keep a level head about this.” This can be an acceptable statement for
many people because most of us want to be able to be clearheaded even when
enraged or otherwise in distress. Tapping on this statement doesn't feel as
though it was weakening us and is much less apt to be resisted.
2. "Even though I'm very upset (angry, etc.), I choose to
wait until I understand this better.” This is another good choice
because, used in a crisis, it allows you to buy time to clear your mind. This
statement is seen as furthering your safety and tapping on it feels both safe
and wise.
3. "Even though I'm very upset (angry, etc.), I choose to
find a helpful answer for everyone concerned" is a statement that
also appears non-threatening and useful even to a frightened mind, and can
often be used when tapping without resistance.
To summarize, we tend to resist using EFT when experiencing
exceptionally strong emotions because our body and subconscious mind believe
that our intense emotion is going to save us and therefore it must not be
interfered with. The best strategy in such cases is to use EFT statements
that counteract the immediate self protective instinct, ones that will make
you feel it's "perfectly safe" to allow yourself to calm down --
that your identity or very life will not be threatened by doing so.
Using such strategies should make EFT more appealing to you at
times of intense emotion. In fact, if you do this you may remember to use EFT
when you need it the most!
EFT Master, Dr. Patricia Carrington
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