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Other Ways to Use EFT
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Personal Resource States in EFT ► Page 2
Using Personal Resource States in EFT Page 2
At this
point, Maria remembered that the week before she had gone "almost full
out" in work preparation for her class the next day. I asked her
how she "knew" that she had done this, what clues had told her that
this had happened.
She said
she had prepared a good lesson plan for the next day and had filled out a
surprising number of forms that had to be turned in, and this was not of
typical her. "But of course I did it only episodically" she
added.
What
concerned me, though, was that she was not able to identify any feeling of
exhilaration that might have clued her into the fact that she was going
"full out"...and it was this emotion that would make the experience
real enough to her to begin tapping with genuine effect — then it would
be a true Resource State.
Because we
needed an emotionally compelling example to use as a resource, I decided to
re-direct her thoughts to baseball. What would she feel like if she
were running as hard to she could and then didn’t make first
base? Would she feel a sense of defeat and simply give up?
Her answer
was a resounding "No!" She would stamp her foot and say
"darn!" and be greatly frustrated, but she would not be blaming
herself for not having run fast enough. She would know that she put
everything she had into it!
This gave
us a chance to discuss another aspect of this issue. Would she
have regretted the fact that she ran that hard even though she didn't reach
first base in time? How would she advise a youngster she was coaching
at baseball if this happened to them?
Maria was
quite clear in her answer. If she had run toward first base in a merely
perfunctory manner she would not have felt better when she didn't make it to
base, in fact, she would have felt much worse. What she would have said
to one of the children whom she coaches in Little League, if they went
"full out" and didn't make it, was "Good hustle! Good
try!"
We were
getting to the point where she could start using EFT, but there were a couple
of points to clarify first, because now she brought up another aspect.
"I
definitely felt good accomplishing the preparatory work for my class. But,
now I have another thought; if I had only done this BEFORE, then I wouldn't
be in trouble with the school. I'd have a really good chance at
tenure."
Here was
an aspect that I felt might be central to the issue. The tendency to
blame oneself for the PAST is a no-win one, always a futile gesture, yet
people often blame themselves when they finally DO succeed, because they
didn't succeed BEFORE — and unfortunately other people around them
often echo this kind of blame. For example, "Aren't you sorry that
you didn't study in school when now you know you could have been so good at
it all along?" Obviously, that’s the worst thing to say to someone
who is FINALLY succeeding!
When Maria
first thought about not having gone "full out" in her lesson plan
preparation, her 0-10 intensity was a "10". The set-up phrase
which she then used, was:
"Even
though I know I should have done this before, I choose to love the fact that
I'm doing it now!"
After one
round of the Choices Trio (See chapter 3 in
Choices
Manual for a description of the Trio) much of the tension had left her face
and she was now smiling. Nevertheless she was still uncomfortable and
her 0-10 intensity remained a 9 – 10 — don't forget, we are
dealing with a lifelong pattern.
What was
she experiencing and thinking about now?
"Well,
I had a bit of an overlay of the baseball image as I was thinking about my
lesson plan preparation." she said.
Aha!
The personal resource state of being able to go 'full out' during a baseball
game was beginning to have an effect! I suggested she might want to
amend the setup phrase to go as follows:
"Even
though I know I should have done this before, I CHOOSE TO RUN "FULL
OUT" TO FIRST BASE!" This was her own Choice phrase, and
as she spoke it she showed a sudden burst of energy.
After one
more Choices Trio, her 0-10 intensity level had now come down to a
"6" or "5", and after one final Trio, she was down to a
zero with respect to her feelings of regret and self-blame on this.
As she
thought about the baseball image, it now occurred to her that "I only
have to run to first base, NOT ALL THE WAY, at one time!"
For Maria
to say this was almost unheard of since her standards are usually so
crushing.
Next
she tapped on:
"Even
though I may not get all the way (or may not even make first base) I choose
to run full out to first base!"
Actually,
she was no longer referring only to baseball, but to all aspects of her
life. Maria was now using the personal resource state we had uncovered,
as a symbol for her entire self-recrimination syndrome. She was so into
it that this experience was vivid enough to really "speak" to her
in the language of her own experience.
Will Maria
suddenly turn around and be able to see her situation entirely differently
–– be a changed person? I seriously doubt it, but I think
that in part she will have quite a new perspective on it. There will be
further work to be done with her lifelong hesitation to allow herself to go
"full out. Before she left we discussed in some length how she
would feel if, for some strange bureaucratic reason, the school failed to
give her tenure at the end of the allotted trail time. Would it feel
better to have gone all out during the interim, or would she prefer to have
held back and plodded along with her school preparations during the next few
months? Her answer was clear ––she would feel better having made
a "run for it", no matter what the outcome.
Knowing
Maria's persistence in working with her problems, I have no doubt that she
will achieve an important change with respect to this deep seated pattern
–– it is simply a matter of doing further work. The final
outcome is very good to contemplate. She will be a gifted and devoted
teacher, whether she works in this or some other educational setting...and
EFT will help her tap into her personal resources to the fullest.
EFT
Master, Dr. Patricia Carrington
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