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Applying EFT in Clinical Practice

Home ► Articles ► EFT in Clinical Practice ► EFT for Couples Therapy ► Page 2

EFT for Couples Therapy Page 2

"I know exactly what it is," she said. "I call it ‘the elephant.’" It’s a problem that sits right between us, as though it were in our living room."

Did she know what the "elephant" was? She nodded emphatically, and told me that Rich had been assigned to write up an extensive report on his work which he had to turn in before his semi-annual work evaluation could be completed. He had been given two months to do this and that time was now drawing to a close. In fact, there was only one week left, and he had only completed a relatively small portion of his report. Leila, who is an experienced writer, was standing by to edit it for him, but he was not handing her any copy to work on. His procrastinating on this had been going on for two months. It was now obvious to both of them that this was what was causing the rift.

Procrastination had always been one of Rich’s problems and we would need to do some more work on this, however I wanted to focus on Leila in this session. She was obviously annoyed, although trying to control her irritation, and underneath Leila’s anger I had learned that there can be fear akin to panic.

When she agreed to address her concern with EFT, I asked her what was the worst thing that she feared happening in this situation? She answered without hesitation. She was afraid that if Rich didn’t get his report in on time that he would lose his job. Then she was afraid that if this happened, he would never succeed in his new career and would have to give it up. Then she had visions of the family ending up impoverished on the streets. Leila was obviously caught in catastrophizing, so this is what we needed to work on first.

I chose not to ask her to address her anger despite the stormy look on her face, but to go straight to her fears and work on them. I also suggested that Rich tap along with us as she progressed through the EFT sequences. My instructions to him were either to tap on an issue of his own as we went through the sequence, or to do surrogate tapping for Leila. He chose the former, tapping on his own problems

Leila’s initial SUDS rating (on a 1 to 10 scale of distress) was an 8.

She started with this set up phrase:

"Even though I feel in danger because Rich hasn’t finished his report…"

At the end of the first round she reported that she was still feeling high anxiety and that her SUDS level had not changed. However, I saw before me what can only be described as a "different person". Her face now was soft and gently sad; the stony look had completely vanished. I have frequently seen it happen when working with EFT that clients will change before my eyes and yet subjectively perceive themselves as still being in the same place emotionally. While sometimes this is the familiar "Apex" (denial) effect that can occur in a person new to EFT, when it occurs in the course of therapy with clients who have in the past responded well to EFT and recognize its value, then it may indicate that their conscious awareness has not yet caught up with progress that is being made on a deeper level. To me, the softness of the face and the sadness that was now in her eyes, were a better indication than her words of how EFT was succeeding.

Then at this point one of those wonderful moments in therapy occurred. The client herself led the way toward healing in a manner I could not have anticipated. Although she could have continued to tap on the negative issues to bring her SUDS level down, Leila opted for something quite different. She shook her head in response to my suggestion that she do another round on the negative.

"No" she said, "I want to call on my deep inner resources to help me…."

I could see from the quietly firm expression on her face that Leila knew exactly why she was doing this, and that switching from an effort to get rid of the negative, to reach instead for her own positive inner resources was just the right move for her at this point. This can be an extremely beneficial thing to do, by the way, if the client is ready for it. If not, and there is still a need to clear away some of the negatives that can block progress, asking the client to access the positive at this point can be actually counterproductive. We could technically call the approach that Leila turned to now "installing the positive", but that term doesn’t really do justice to the special quality of this positive exercise which was deeply self-affirming.

Her choice of words for her "positive installation" was:

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